


To Paint a Convincing Picture

by glass_owl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 13:33:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glass_owl/pseuds/glass_owl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn makes a decision by himself without letting the boys know. The result is a clean Perrie tattoo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Paint a Convincing Picture

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's been a while since the tattoo, didn't want to blow things up again but i got inspired. Sorry for spamming the ziam tag x I must be off to sleep now, it's 5.50 in the morning. Ha. I beta-d it, but i'm a bit sleepy so there's bound to be a mistake or two. Sorry :)

-

 

"Do you know how to paint a convincing picture?"

 

-

Both mother and son are sitting in the kitchen, the counter tops are clear from any kitchen utensils and the island is set up with sheets of white, clean papers and boxes of crayons and colour pencils with bleeding colours that shine so bright. The talent runs in their veins, and together they produce brilliant, breath taking pieces of works, colours sloshed together onto the picture with infinite care.

There's a painter's brush in elegant hands, and wax crayons in stubby ones. Together, in the cream coloured kitchen, turquoise kitchen tiles and aqua counter tops, both mother and son indulge in the freedom of art. 

They paint and draw until the light filtering from the kitchen windows is no longer blinding and demanding, they work until there's drying paint on the tips of long beautiful fingers and coloured wax under chewed out nails.

And as they paint lucid pictures from their imaginations, the little boy - Zayn - thinks, this is what I love to do, this is what I was made to do.

 

-

 

"It's easy, really."

 

-

 

It's not long before Zayn realises he has the talent for singing. Not that he gloats about it openly, but his friends and family are supportive. Singing becomes a thing for him. He belts out tunes and songs when he feels like it, and it feels good - he also sounds good, which is like a bonus for him. 

His voice carries smoothly, and he's usually part of school productions, because, hey, he's talented. But all that stops after grade school.

He's laughed at for his skin colour, his mixed blood. People ostracize him in favour of staying hidden, trying to be unrelated to Zayn, not drawing any attention to themselves. It's like that for a vast majority of the time; he forgets what it's like to have friends, to love and to be loved by someone who isn't his immediate family.

He doesn't say anything about it though, he locks the emptiness in his heart and throws on a facade for his family to see. When he retreats back to his room, Zayn pulls out an easel and plugs in his stereo. There'll be music playing; Bruno Mars, Jay Z, Chris Brown. And Zayn will sing alongside as he paints out pictures, paints out his dreams and hopes and wishes all up into the stars. 

He doesn't ask for much, he only asks for acceptance and friends. Something so simple shouldn't have been taken away from him to begin with. 

Singing and drawing becomes his solace, the words and pictures form in his mind naturally, he's gifted with more talents than one. 

Zayn hasn't got much to lose when he's signs up for the X Factor. He coins in his hope and prays for the best, a change in his life in the right direction. He gets so much more than that.

 

-

 

"It'll change people's perspecives."

 

-

 

Zayn is stuck with 4 boys who don't make it past boot camp. They're all a mismatched group, there's a goofy kid with bright blue eyes and floppy yellow hair. He laughs too much, eats too much and smiles too much. Zayn cringes a bit, because he's not used to so much intimacy and he tries to stay away from the Irish kid. Niall is happy, and unabashedly so. In weeks, Zayn finds him contracting Niall's happiness influenza; he's more happier these days.

There's another obnoxiously jolly one, he's a real prankster with sarcasm dripping off his words on most occasions. But his chestnut hair and eyes the colour of skies makes Zayn thinks that there's a nicer boy masked under the layers of jokes and dry humour. It's three weeks before Zayn finally warms up to Louis - he discovers a soul who's a softie and a heart full of bubbly warmth.

The youngest kid seems the nicest. He's got this blank stares most of the time, and he has that charming smile that just blows him away. Zayn's fingers itch to paint the boy with curly hair and bottle green eyes, because he's never seen someone with such perfect features. He doesn't get to paint Harry, he never asks. But instead he marvels at the boy's voice, and how silly he is.

The last person he notices is the one from Wolverhampton. He is quieter than Zayn, and Zayn didn't think it's possible, but it is. The boy sits at a corner of the room, while the other three party and jump around. He hides behind a curtain of hair, eyes trained on his phone. Zayn has his first proper conversation with Liam after two weeks being thrown together, and he sees a reflection of a broken boy in Liam's soft copper eyes.

 

-

"It's not anything extraordinary."

-

 

Liam becomes his best friend, and the for the first time in ages, Zayn finds out what it's like to be loved by others. He learns what it's like to have friends, and he spends each night staying up late with the other four boys who just do ridiculous things together.

They're long out of the X Factor, voted out when they're so close to the finals. But it's okay, because they still have each other, and that's more than enough for Zayn. They're true friends to him, and he's glad they decide to stick together. 

They're working on their first album, all the late nights and tackling and random hugging. Zayn likes how being part of One Direction changes him, he's happier, laughing all the time and he has friends; he has Liam. 

He's not sure how it starts, but it began with the subtle touches and fingertips lightly brushing. The little static electricity thrill that makes Zayn's heart race, and the glances Liam throws him that last for a heartbeat too long. Zayn thinks it started from there. Because since then, he's been thrown down a spiraling abyss of no return, it's not long before he's absolutely gone for Liam James Payne. 

His mind is putty when Liam slings an arm casually over him (he's not sure where the quiet boy from years ago went - but Zayn likes that Liam is ever changing with him; a metamorphosis for them both) and his cheeks grow warm when Liam leans in to whisper little inside jokes to him. Zayn's absolutely speechless when Liam puts at arm around his waist and he goes slightly breathless when Liam rubs him gently at the sides, pressing in slightly against his waist.

The concept of love doesn't startle Zayn much. He's never felt anything like it, it's blissful and happy at the same time. The idea of falling in love with his best friend feels like fireworks and vanilla ice cream on a summer's night; it's sweet and comforting and awe-inspiring. 

 

-

"In fact, it makes them curious - make them come up with theories."

-

 

They kissed for the first time under the starlight, with the smell of a burnt out cigar and salt from the hotel beach. Zayn's the first to make a move, and his heart flutters uncontrollably when his tongue presses against Liam's in a passionate first kiss that makes a kind of fuzzy happiness pool in the center of his belly.

They hold hands constantly, but always out of public eyes. Liam keeps their fingers entwined during signings (under the table of course), overlaps their legs in interviews (casually like how the other boys just curl against each other) and hugs Zayn shamelessly on the stage (they do it all the time), in front of millions and millions of fans. The only difference is, it's always Zayn and Liam. It's always them doing it together. It's a small hint, but the crowd catches on like wild fire.

Zayn loves Liam, and that's all he really needs to know. He likes the fact that he has someone to return to at the end of the day, he likes how can just knick Liam's clothes off the hangers and just wear it like it's his. He loves that he doesn't have to share Liam with anyone. But that feeling doesn't last long, because the Ziam tag explodes on Tumblr and Twitter; people coming up with so many ideas at one time, and management thinks they have to stop it, so they bring in a weapon: a woman - Danielle.

 

-

"I'll let you in on the secret."

-

The boys are horrified and Louis screams profanities when management says they want Liam to stage a fake proposal, a want to settle with Danielle, up the seriousness of their relationship for the public eye.

"You're shit," Louis spits. 

Zayn couldn't have agreed better. 

"We won't play it up for you," Harry says breathless, a stage of anger that rarely bleeds through the seams of his perfect composure. "You can bloody well get the paparazzi to polish out perfect stories of endless love between Liam and Danielle, but we won't play your game. The stage is ours."

Zayn has never been so thankful, he's so glad he's met these three idiots and the single love of his life. As sappy as it sounds, Zayn just won't let management do that to screw them up, to ruin Liam like that. But he knows that management are in the reigns, with an iron hold over the boys. It's not long before management produces their contract, highlights the part where the boys are supposed to do what little bidding management has for them.

Little.

Zayn almost suffers a cardiac arrest when Liam agrees, albeit solemnly, unwillingly. He watches as Liam pulls out his phone, unlocks it and slides it over to the management committee. 

"Start with Twitter," Liam says, apathetically. He's stoic, poker faced, he hides the rest of his face under the shadows of his fringe, fringe that's grown a bit too long and needs trimming, fringe that he's too lazy to cut. Suddenly it's wintry with Liam, as if Liam hadn't changed a single bit since they were first thrown together.

The Ziam tag explodes for a second time, a war of Payzer supporters against Ziam shippers. It's almost ridiculous.

Zayn sits with Liam's head in his lap that night. Liam cries and cries because it's unfair. It's not that they want their outright rampant public display of reaction (they don't even indulge in such things), it's more the fact that they're now forbidden the subtle touches and caresses that keep them maintained on stage.

 

-

"The secret is to never let them in on your story."

-

 

This time it's different. Payzer blows over when Liam takes his own step and calls it off with Danielle. It's not as if they were ever together to begin with anyway. In actuality the break had been less than 2 minutes, but for everybody's sake, Liam blows it up to two hours. He didn't think the number would be legit, he didn't think people would buy it that he's capable of spending two hours trying to cut ties. 

The media buys it anyway.

But this time, it's Zayn's turn. With the break, came the almost unstoppable surge on the Ziam tag everywhere. People who claim that it's the era for Zayn and Liam to be, a time for them to go viral with a profound love formed between the two. Zayn almost hopes, but of course management is there. And management is angry. 

They put their foot down before it goes out of control: they bring in Perrie Edwards.

Zayn sits in his chair, opposite the management team. They have their ideas spread out on the table, proposals, a 'chose what you like best' situation. Zayn hates them all, and he wants to sit with Liam back in their hotel, enjoy a cup of hot chocolate (more milk for him, and three marshmallows in Liam's cup while he takes two) and snuggle up in a duvet fort on the bed before switching on the television to some good film on air.

He bites his lower lips as he looks them in the eyes, every single one on the management committee. 

"How come I'm the only one here?" Zayn asks, because the last time they installed Larry Stylinson measures, and had made Liam take on heavier Payzer motions, all the boys had been present. Every single one would hear what's happening. 

"Haven't you learned, Zayn?" One of them says. He hates all of them so much (Save Paul) and he's never bothered to learn their names. "Do you know how to paint a convincing picture?"

Zayn reels at the words. Familiar words that he's used for art suddenly slipping past gross lips of a twisted man. He doesn't want to hear what the man has to say next but he does anyway. 

"To paint a convincing picture is simple. All we have to do is make sure that no one knows the story to it. That way, ever one will think it's real, think it's true, even the other boys. So they won't mess it up on stage, so that they'll genuinely think you're serious about Zerrie." The man speaks words of wisdom that Zayn already knows, but in a different light and context altogether.

"I'm not serious about Zerrie." Zayn says pathetically. 

"Oh, but you are now. Do you want another false proposal or a tattoo. Both equally as damaging, my boy. One erasable the other naught. One with a heavier effect than the other."

Zayn thinks of all the things he's done with Liam, thinks how he's going to drop the bomb on them, to convince them rather than to share his problem. He never thought that management would catch up on such a sly trick.

"Tattoo," Zayn decides, his voice comes out a little more hoarse than he meant it to be. 

 

-

"And it'll be fun to watch people draw the wrong conclusions, a silent joy that only you get to enjoy."

-

 

They're in Glen Burnie, Maryland and the night is cold and chilling. Zayn's got some papers stuffed into his coat pockets, hidden from Liam. It's a drawing of Perrie, in a bob hat that he forces Perrie to wear for the last few months so that the press will recognise the Perrie in his art. They're just about to return from a night out, Liam lying beside Zayn, running his finger tip along the lines on Zayn's palms. Zayn doesn't respond to the touch at all.

In fact, he hasn't responded to Liam at all for the past few days. Liam catches on, keeps his distance a bit, eyes begging for an answer but lips forever closed. Zayn says nothing, because he's already so distressed inside. He can't, and will not, tell Liam of the tattoo, for as long as he can hold it off.

"I want a new tattoo," Zayn announces almost ridiculously. Liam startles next to him, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. Zayn knows what he's thinking, knows that Liam wants to know why he hasn't been informed before the rest of the boys. Zayn would tell if he could, but it isn't in his power to do so. He shrugs Liam off, and asks Paul to help root for a place.

Paul does. He drops the boys off at the hotel lobby before going to the concierge. 

"Anyone wants to come?" Zayn asks, it's only polite that he does so. He doesn't want to particularly startle anyone when he requests for the picture to be inked on his arm. 

"Me! Me, me, ME!" Louis jumps, an impish grin on his face. 

"I'll go, "Liam offers quietly, and Zayn wants to tell him to wait here, tell him to stay behind. He's not sure what Liam will say once he finds out about it.

 

-

"Everyone will puzzle over it."

-

 

Harry and Niall have left for sleep by the time Paul comes back. He's got directions down for a tattoo parlour, not too far so that he can be near all the boys at the same time.

"Just the three of you?" Paul asks. 

"Actually, I think Liam should stay," Zayn tries his best to shake Liam off. He didn't mean to sound so blunt and annoyed, but his words drive like daggers. Liam's eyes narrows, his lips pursed together.

"You're trying to get rid of me."

Zayn can't take it anymore. He wants Liam away, doesn't want to have the only love of his life watch as Perrie slowly imprints herself onto his skin. He takes a mental breakdown before he spits, "Fine, come. Don't regret it." The last part was nothing more than a mere mumble, words carried away by the night breeze. There's a dull thudding in his chest as the precedent doom starts to loom above him.

 

-

"But only you will know."

-

 

Zayn waits at the parlour as Louis tells the artist of his desire for a spider web and a bomb to add on to his growing collection of inky drawings on his skin canvas. He slowly unfurls the drawing on his coat and gives the Perrie drawing a final glance. It's too late, he's sealed his fate. He has to carry this through.

When it's his turn, Liam turns from his position by the parlour window. Ears intent on catching what Zayn wants. Zayn swallows, takes a gulp of air, perfects his composure to a casual one and passes the drawing to the tattoo artist.

"I want to get a tattoo of my girlfriend. I drew her here, if you could do a right replica, that would be nice. I want to capture the essence of her beauty." The words have been rehearsed over a thousand times in his head, and he's glad they slip out naturally from his mouth. There's no mistake about the mortified silence that settles on Liam and Louis though.

Liam is the first to speak. He can't hide behind his fringe this time, mostly because there's none at the moment. So Zayn sees the reflective hurt in those hazel eyes which he fell in love with so many times over. He excuses himself for a quiet walk out into the town, Paul doesn't even put up a resistance when Liam says so. He only tells the boy to be careful and to send in a text to acknowledge he's safe back at the hotel.

When Liam's gone, Louis splutters. "Zayn!" he cries, overly horrified and downright disgusted. "Were you playing Li up the whole time?"

Zayn says nothing. Maybe he should have just said he lost interest, but he couldn't. Because inside his heart is cracking.

 

-

"You could tell them lies, but they'd never know."

-

 

The tattoo artists asks lots of questions. 

What colour is her hair?

_It's dirty blond, but he dyes it brunette because he likes the colour better._

"It's platinum blond, but she likes to have it pink," Zayn says.

And where did you get her the bob hat?

 _I got it with him at a sale while on tour at Sweden. We're supposed to have matching pairs but there was only one left, so Liam let me have it._

"At a store in London. Perrie fell in love with it at first sight," he says.

What about the peace sign on her shirt, what does it symbolise?

_Nothing much, just that he has a shirt just like it and he looks good in it._

"She's a proud hipster," he says.

And the crushing fist?

_It shows that this tattoo is a bloody lie, and it's breaking my heart to pieces. Crushing it, even._

"It's her will power, bro." 

 

-

"It's your game."

-

They cut off interactions on stage altogether. 

Liam jumps off to the other polar end of the stage whenever Zayn comes close or even makes a move in his direction. It burns and hurts him so much, and he wants to pull him close, whisper the truth in his ear.

When it's time for his solo, Zayn sings endearingly, pours his soul into his song as he stares after Liam. Liam never looks back at him.

Zayn watches as the other boys play with Liam. Louis ramming into him until they're both a rolling mess on the floor. Niall and Liam having synchronised dancing moments and Harry whispering silly things into Liam's ears. He watches as the other boys bring out the beautiful crescent eyes whenever Liam is genuinely happy. He watches as the boys give him affectionate hugs on stage, and fool around with him. He watches as it all happens without him.

If he looks carefully enough though, he would see that Liam's still hurting, his heart is still breaking. 

 

-

"You'll marvel in the secret as people just believe your picture. Believe it for the kind of story they crafted for themselves."

-

 

Zayn's all alone in the back stage dressing room. He has his shirt off and he's staring at himself in the mirror. Two weeks since the tattoo materialized. He hates it. He reaches a hand forward, and digs his nails into the flesh that is singed with Perrie's 'face'. He doesn't hate her, he likes her in fact. But not in the way management wants him too. The pain is nice, and he wishes he could scratch out the tattoo with his bare hands. 

Two weeks without Liam. Two weeks too long. 

The tears start to run. 

 

-

" And that's it. That's how you get them entranced, how to get them believing in your art, that's how you paint a convincing picture."

-


End file.
